Weird Museums: National Mustard Museum

If I close my eyes, I can still see that salmon-colored plastic cup. When I was a young girl, I thought every cup that had a drink in it belonged to me. The world was my beverage oyster, until that oyster bit me in the ass. One afternoon, I was feeling particularly parched. I saw a cup, being held by an adult, and I claimed it as my own. After I finished chugging the drink, it hit me. It was unlike anything I had ever tasted. 

It was vinegar. A whole cup of vinegar. Since that day, I’ve had a very complicated with anything briny, and don’t often enjoy things that include vinegar. All of this to say, it took me a long time to appreciate mustard. These days I love it, but it has been quite a journey for me. There is a person in my life, however, who loves mustard more than most, and that is my father. Enjoy this image of him, doing something that he constantly brags about being able to do: drinking mustard straight from the bottle. 

Image of James Varnum drinking mustard. [Courtesy of James Varnum]

Let’s talk about mustard, and how it came to be truly one of the greatest and most versatile condiments. Archaeologists have found that mustard was first cultivated in the Indus Valley, and that Romans were most likely the first to prepare mustard as a condiment. They would mix unfermented grape juice with ground mustard seeds, and a recipe for mustard can be found in Roman cookbooks that date back to the late 4th or early 5th century. Dijon can be dated all the way back to the 13th century in France. 

The year is now 1986, and Barry Levenson, the assistant Attorney General for the state of Wisconsin, is wandering through a supermarket in the middle of the night, after the Boston Red Sox had lost the world series. He found himself searching for the meaning of life, and when he passed by the mustards, he heard a deep voice say to him "If you collect us, they will come." He bought a dozen jars of mustard that night, and after winning a Supreme Court case while carrying a jar of mustard in his pocket, he knew he needed to spend the rest of his life collecting mustard memorabilia. The mustard museum was founded in 1992 in Middleton, Wisconsin, and now houses 5,624 mustards. Barry is not only the curator, but also the CMO. The Chief Mustard Officer. It is also worth mentioning that the Mustard Museum was once featured on the Oprah Winfrey show.

So let's talk about some of the features of the museum, because these are an absolute treat. Firstly, they have the great wall of mustard. This is where the over 5,000 mustards are on display at the museum. The next attraction that we absolutely have to discuss is the “Mustardpiece Theatre.” They have daily showings of a movie about the history of mustard, but have also hosted musicals in the past. Some of these musicals have been: The Sound of Mustard, The Phantom of the Museum, Les Moutardes, Hello, Dollop!, Curator on the Roof, Annie get your Bun, and The Full Mustard. You can also visit Mrs. Mustard's Kitchen, where you learn cooking tips and recipes for how to add mustard to your everyday diet. They do say that mustard increases metabolism and even relieves stress.

The icing on the cake of this museum is America's Mustard College, otherwise known as Poupon U. You can get all of the college gear that you need to have in order to prove that you are an expert on all things mustard. They offer several degree programs at Poupon U, with some of them being Doctor of Mustard, Juris Dufus, Doctor of Diddley-Squat (DDS), Master of Bad Attitude (their MBA program), PHD or Philosopher of Dijon, and of course their CPA program, Couch Potato Authority. They have a fight song, and I would like to share those lyrics to you now.

On our hot dogs, on our bratwurst, mustard is so cool.

Never mayo, never ketchup; they're against the rules.

Gleaming gold and mellow yellow; smooth, rough, sweet and hot,

Fight, POUPON U! We'll fight and eat some lunch.

So the next time you find yourself in Middleton, WI, take a trip to the National Mustard Museum, and tell Barry we said hi.

Sources and Further Reading:

Wikipedia- Mustard

National Mustard Museum

NPR- "The Mustard Museum: Passion for a Condiment"